I spent the better part of today composing a letter to some relatives. After bringing them up to date on our doings, I finally got into the major subject, which was why none of my kids or their spouses want to have much to do with them.
I expect childish, self-centered, and occasionally silly behavior from 20-somethings, but from those three or four times their age, not so much. I tried, as kindly as I could, to explain what had caused the situation, and what I felt ought to be done to remedy it (ever have to tactfully tell someone to pull their head out?).
I tried to use positive things I had seen these people do as parents as examples, and pointed out how they had influenced me. Hopefully, once they get over their (predictable) anger, they will give the situation some thought and consideration.
Does anyone out there have any suggestions for tactfully correcting relatives they would like to share before I send off my letter? Comment if you do.
Hunkerin' down
4 years ago
2 comments:
wellllll u asked - - personally, i don't fight battles for the kids with relatives on our family side or when it's in-law related.
if my folks or my brothers/sisters have a problem with the girls they deal with them. if they call me, i only make sure they have the kids phone numbers. if the kids call me, i may sympathize, but again, i just make sure they have the right phone number and tell them they need to work it themselves.
we do as much as possible to stay out of whatever it is. (as long as it doesn't involve us)
they need to learn to work these things out amongst themselves.
I understand your hurt, Bliss. As any family grows through the generations, it happens. No one likes it, it just is.
And, while the greater age difference seems to contribute to it, sometimes it is between those close in age.
I'm in one of those situations, and I have no idea how to improve it.
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